I’ve never seen this show, but the reason why it’s been on my mind is because Caila Quinn, the next bachelorette for 2016 visited my church. It’s not her visit that bothers me, but rather, just how many people (mostly women) were posting about how excited they were to watch the next season. It troubled my spirit a lot. The reason: Because there is, whether we want to admit it, a dichotomy between christianity and the principles the show stands for. I’m writing this specifically for all my christian sisters… And that one strange brother somewhere out there who love to watch this show. My hope is that you will realize just how damaging it is to our christian witness, the institution of marriage and overall holiness.
1.) Modern day dating
Most dating in America is treated like a test drive for a new car. Take your girl or guy off the lot for the weekend or an extended period of time, and see if you’re “compatible”. The problem with this compatibility is that it’s all about doing stuff that God doesn’t want us to most of the time. It’s often accompanied by excessive amounts of pre-marital sex and sexual immorality.
I think it’s safe to say that we, who are christians all disagree with this dating model. It is contrary to God’s word who tells us to keep the marriage bed undefiled against both immorality and adultery (Hebrews 13:4).
Here’s a huge problem with this show: It encourages the very thing that God’s word disagrees with. Chris Harrison, the host of both the bachelor and the bachelorette, stated that he believed 67% of all the shows contestants to be sleeping together. This literally means that almost every time we tune our TV’s to ABC to watch the show, we as believers are encouraging this sinful behavior. We allow ABC to run another season of the bachelor/bachelorette and continue to glorify a dating practice that is contrary to God’s word. We are essentially enabling people to sin. I mean, there’s literally a room (The Fantasy Suite) where they let the couples spend the night together. Who cares if one or two people had good intentions and didn’t sleep with the women/men they took in. It still doesn’t change the fact that the whole show is basically just a set up to watch “All the love, lust, hookups, breakups, roses and rings.” Each time we do, we encourage this behavior.
I wished it just stopped at sexual sin, but the truth is that the show is a cesspool for all kinds of others. We see women gossiping about each other, we see people giving away their hearts to others who are literally going to break their hearts (The bible tells us to guard our hearts in Proverbs 4:23 and not to awaken love before it’s time in song of songs 2:7) and we ultimately we see a dating model that we all disagree with but secretly encourage when we watch.
Any guy or girl that lines up fifteen to twenty guys/girls and decides to hang out/make-out/make love with them to see if their compatible on national television is, according to what we know as christians as an unsuitable bachelor/bachelorette. You would never want to marry someone like that if you knew they were messing around with fifteen other people. You would pull a T-swift, brand them “players” and toss them.
The truth is, we would never want our daughters or our sons dating someone like that, let alone marrying them. So why is it okay when it’s being broadcast to gazillions of people?
2.) The model doesn’t work
Out of the 30 seasons of both the bachelor and the bachelorette only like, 5 or 6 of the couples are still together. That’s less than a 25% success rate. That’s a failing grade according to our common core educational system. What does this number tell you about the dating model. Is this how love works? Pick from the “best fit” out of twenty other people and try them out to see if you work out? Shouldn’t christians be encouraging good dating practices and relationships that lead to marriage?
God takes marriage very seriously. The picture of the relationship between Him and His bride is one of a married couple. Does the Bachelor contribute or tarnish God’s view of marriage?
The guy or girl who’s the bachelor/bachelorette has to shatter and hurt peoples emotions just to maybe find someone he/she will want to maybe settle down with? That’s really cruel, and wrong among other things.
3.) We look like the World when we watch
Holiness is the mark of the people of God. I’ve had to turn away so many television shows (Game of Thrones among others) and movies because I knew that watching them would anger God. Not only does it displease Him but it hurts our witness to the dying world. It’s like putting a light under a basket (Matthew 5:14-15). The world needs to see that light, they need Jesus!
We need to remember that to be christian, is to be set apart. If people think us strange because we told them that we believe watching things like the Bachelor, Bachelorette or Game of Thrones was damaging to our faith, would we be ridiculed? Probably. But at least we’d be taking a stand for what’s right. Let’s not forget, that’s how it’s supposed to be. Jesus said “Remember the word that I said to you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you.” (John 15:20) Woe to us when people always speak well of us.
If it’s causing us to sin or others to sin. Turn it off. The bachelor/bachelorette does just that. Let’s not encourage the system because of a few (maybe, possibly) good eggs aka Sean Lowe. If the batch is mostly rotten, throw it out. A little leaven ruins the entire batch.